Jun 17 2016

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You win or lose by the way you choose

The word for today is lose.

You win or lose by the way you choose



I don’t know where I first heard the phrase “You win or lose by the way you choose.” Wherever it came from, it has been used countless times in my parenting. I can reach back over years in my mind and hear my kids cry out “I want to win. I want to win.”

They didn’t always make a “win” choice, so they had to experience a “lose” consequence.

No one enjoys a “lose” consequence. We all want to come out on top regardless of our choices. Life doesn’t always give that to us. In some ways, that is a mercy.

Within parenting, I can shield my children from some of the harsher realities that come with their choices. But if I don’t give them natural consequences to their choices, life will be a shock to them. If they don’t get the correlation between their choices and the results, they will never see their responsibility for where they are in life.


What do you do to prepare your children for life

Giving appropriate consequences for “win” or “lose” choices is one way I am preparing my children for life. What are you doing to help your children to mature and be prepared for life?
Share your words of wisdom.

Are these words encouraging to you? Share.

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Five Minute Friday

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  1. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Cheryl. Though I was never a parent, I did counsel the college kids I used to teach.

    On the subject of losing, whether in love or academics or self-control (drugs or alcohol), the conversations would go something like this.

    Student – “It hurts so much to lose!”
    Me – “Sucks, don’t it, bro?”
    Student (sniffling) – “Yeah.”
    Me – “You’re not a loser if you lose. Only if you quit.”
    Student (brightening) – “Wow…thanks, doc…no wonder you got a PhD!”
    Me – “Credit where it’s due, dude. I read it on a bumper sticker in Cleveland.”

    (Yes, I really do have a PhD…set a record for the lowest GPA to survive the program at my alma mater, after which the rules were changed as they did not want stuff slipping through the cracks like that.)

    #1 at FMF this week

    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 169 – Win At All Costs {FMF}My Profile

    1. Cheryl

      Record low GPA. That sounds like lowering the bar, but not many can say they have a PhD. (I cannot say that.) You’ve turned what looks like a low bar into a high bar most people never achieve. Ugly success is still success. Right?

      I wonder if people would try more if they gave themselves the freedom to not be #1 at everything they attempt.

      Then there is the whole issue of taking the previous sentence from “people” to “I.” I have countless not #1 achievements, but I never champion the value of achievement when it isn’t top notch. That may be the reason I hesitate in stepping out and trying something new.

      Quitting is the ultimate lose choice. The greatest loss is living with not staying in the game.

      Counseling college kids does count as parenting. It’s surrogate parenting. And I am thankful for the “parents” God gave me throughout my years.

      Thanks for visiting.

  2. Shalom

    Great reminder that how you choose is critical to win in life in the long run. Super helpful to let children have natural consequences to prepare for the reality of life to come. Thanks for sharing. Blessings! Stopping by from FMF #8

    1. Cheryl

      Thanks for visiting.

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