Jun 28 2017

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Learn how to be a better wife and still be you (7 books you need to read)

Learn how to be a better wife and still be you

I’m an independent, strong-willed woman, and words like “submit” and “respect” bristle my inner rebel. How can I do that and not feel like a mouse? With other women I met, I found few who understood my struggle. I spent much of my married life trying to fit a Christian wife image that wasn’t me. No matter how hard I tried, I always returned back to me. Good books have been my much-needed mentors navigating my not-always-smooth waters of life as a wife. In reading, I found friends who gave me truth I could process on my own. With God’s help, and some great, real-life mentors and encouragers along the way, I learned how to “wife” better—and still be me. Read more about my story here.

Do you want to learn how to be a better wife and still be who God made you to be?

Reading great books won’t do it all, but being mentored through books are one powerful resource available to all of us who want to grow.

Note: This page contains affiliate links*. If you choose to purchase products mentioned on this page, I do benefit—at no extra charge to you. My intention is to bring to your attention products I recommend.

Here are my favorite marriage mentoring books:

1. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs*. This book helped me understand respect in a totally new light. Until I read that book, I didn’t “get” how I wasn’t rockin’ the whole respect my husband thing. I knew I respected him, and couldn’t understand why he didn’t always feel respected.

2. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts*. While love languages aren’t exclusive to marriage, this was another help in understand that we all have ways we communicate and receive love. The key was not as much in knowing and speaking your own love language but in speaking his love language. Knowing his love language doesn’t guarantee an easy trip toward choosing to speak his language of love. Our default is our own language. In the process, I discovered how often I subconsciously wanted to win my husband over to my language.

3. Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage*. I love music. Love to play it. Love to listen to good music. Music is in my soul. Besides an alluring title, this book is packed with understanding the world making beautiful “music” in the sheets. Uh-hem, if you know what I mean. I wish I had read this earlier in our marriage.

4. Intimate Issues: Conversations Woman to Woman – 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex*. This also addresses sex but it’s written by women for women. It addresses some common questions that many might feel awkward asking and gives biblically based answers.

5. The Power of a Praying Wife*. The best way to love your husband is to pray for him. Out of your prayer, you invite God’s power to work in him. This book is filled with scripture-filled prayers to pray for him.

6. Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No*. There is a Boundaries in Marriage book, but getting grounded in understanding appropriate boundaries is helpful in marriage.

7. Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul*/Captivating Revised and Updated: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul*. Both of these are not about marriage. Instead, they give insight into a man’s and woman’s soul. I recommend reading both. Not only will it help you understand your husband, it will help you understand your unique design as a woman. If your husband reads it, it will help him do the same. We know we’re different as man and women, but these books explain so much.

No magic answers, but…

I can’t tell you that I read the books and magically had a better marriage or became a rock star wife. But each book helped remove barriers keeping me from being a better wife and having a better marriage. The biggest key was allowing God to teach my heart—no book can do that step.

I recommend investing in your relationship by reading marriage encouraging books even if you think it’s already awesome.

What are your favorite marriage books?

Do you have a favorite book that’s helped you become a better spouse or helped your marriage? Share the book title, what it’s about, and a little about how it helped you.


Handholding Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

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